How to Party like Mrs. Dalloway

  1. First,  go out for the flowers yourself. That’s the easy job, getting the flowers. Leave the dirty work to someone else, like scrubbing the kitchen or removing doors from hinges.
  2. Speaking of the help, remember they will become overwhelmed by the demands you are placing upon them. While perfection is a must, keep in mind it’s highly unlikely you will have a Prime Minister in attendance. Therefore ease up on the help.
  3. As hostess you should dress in your most flattering attire. An old love will be in attendance, and you’ll want to remind them of the person you once were.
  4. If you insist on segregating your party after the food has been consumed, might I suggest to not segregate by gender? Instead allow the party to segregate themselves into groups: single people looking for a bit of flirty fun, those who know each other through the work they do, people with kids, etc.
  5. No matter how hard you try and entertain your guests there will always be one person who wished they never came to your party.
  6. As people come and go you may wonder if your party is a success. You will wonder if your presence as hostess matters at all. If people are talking, eating, and drinking, then be proud of your  party’s success. After all, the hostess sets the tone.
  7. As you mingle with your guests note how they all appeared to have failed in their lives.  A twenty-first century soundtrack might include bands from the New Romantic period. Merely a suggestion.
  8. Guests should never bring up topics like suicide, as death is sure to be a buzz kill. If someone does you have the right to feel annoyed.
  9. If you find you are not having the same level of fun as your guests, that is to be expected.  Hostessing, after all, is work–and not for the faint of heart.
  10. A party isn’t the place for the hostess to consider one’s own aging body or mortality. However, if you feel the need to go there please find an unoccupied room where you can retreat and reflect. A quote (or two) from Shakespeare might be in order. Regrets, we’ve all had a few, an acceptance of them can help you press on.